drained

7/7/2006, 13.30
Dresden, Germany to Frankfurt, Germany

I have neglected my writing this week, but with good reason. Because we leave three days from now Dresden, Germany has become the last major place in which we will spend any significant amount of time on this trip - our last wild fling during travels that quickly became more like fantasy than reality. The four short days I spent in this city meeting Chris' friends from two years ago truly have been wilder, crazier, & more tiring, romantic, confusing, unnerving, stressful, emotional & fun then all of the rest of this trip combined.

I'm exhausted - from Monday though today, Friday, I've slept less than 12 hours & partied harder than I have in a long time every night save for Wednesday, the night that I didn't sleep at all.

I'm overwhelmed - the emotions I've experience for & from others have been vastly wide-ranged & phenomenally strong, & they've grown more quickly than is normal or than I'm used to.

I'm humbled - of the many people I met not one was any less than remarkable; although eclectic & varied in their strengths, weaknesses & personalities not one failed to be warm, open, or genuine in their willingness & desire to open their hearts to me completely & invite me fully into their lives. I can't remember any other time in my life that I not only gained so many close, close friends in such a short period of time, but I also became a close & trusted friend to so many outstanding people.

I'm sad - to be suddenly so close to so many, it hurts me to have to leave them so soon.

I'm scared - I don't know how I'll feel to return to the place where I've felt such isolation in the past after showing & being shown such unrestrained kindness, friendship & love.

But more than anything else, I'm peacefully happy - to have felt such exhaustion, to have been so overwhelmed, to have experienced such humility, to have felt so sad, & to have been so frightened is nothing less than a gift that many people never receive, & one that I will treasure with all of my heart for as long as it beats.